There are days where I draw a blank and don’t know what to write about. Then there are days where I don’t know if I’m supposed to do something else with my life.
We all doubt ourselves at one point or another and some of us, do it often. I don’t think it’s preventable, it just how you deal with it in these situation.
About 18 months ago, I thought to myself, “I could sit at home and do nothing or get up and make something of your life whether you make money or not. Just as long as I am doing something that makes me happy.” It’s safe to say, I chose the latter option.
But (there’s always a but)…
Seeing those with families and careers around me doesn’t help but honestly, who the fuck cares.
I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago about how some of our other friends have kids and a family now and we brought up this Aziz Ansari joke.
My friend called me up the other day and said, “Aziz, I’m having a baby!” And I always have the same reaction I go “HAHAHAHAHA that SUCKS. I’m so sorry that happened. Why weren’t you using birth control? You’re going to have to take care of that thing forever. Oh well, I’ll talk to you later. I’m going to go do literally whatever I want cause I don’t have a baby so all my options, are still options.”
While I have no problems with kids and I do want to have kids in the future, I am glad I don’t have any right now because I couldn’t do what I am doing right now. If I had a child at my age, I would have to work non-stop just to take care of them.
But I don’t have to this giving me the opportunity to do other things I love. And plus, I don’t even know what I want to do the next few years. I wouldn’t want to get married until it’s legal for everyone to get married in the United States. Maybe I want to adopt a child instead of having my own. I don’t know.
I know it sounds kind of bad and a dig at people that have kids but it’s not.
Right now, I can’t really complain about anything. I haven’t had a real job in years, I have money saved up so I can spend my days working on my writing and sports blogging career. I have air in my lungs and a roof over my head. I wouldn’t trade this life for anything else.
What I’ve come to realize the last year or so is to not let someone else dictate your life. Whatever they do, don’t let it get to you. Don’t let it bring you down because once you do, it’s a downward spiral. Use it to motivate yourself instead of the opposite.